delirium of the lost

I am almost banging my head,

Pulling at the mass of hair...

Wondering how come 

This is happening to me..

I am closing my eyes,

Breathing deep,

Thinking hard,

Breathing deep, thinking hard..

Breathing deep,

Breathing fast,

Thinking hard,

Harder now,

Words, where are my words,

Where have they gone?

Down which alley?

Climbing up which of the veins?

Muscles tightening..

Thinking hard?

Words..there are my words?

Oh! come on now...

Don't drag in feminism now...

And tell me "this percentage of women are suffering..bah bah bah..or there are this percent of rape And domestic violence occurring bah bah bah...".

Don't tell me "this boy never said this and that girl never expressed that..

Nah nah nah..

You can have those piling up newspapers for free...

They chronicle all of it...

I have nothing to do with it...

I am selfish,

I am dumb,

I call myself observant,

And put all the blame

On my retard friend...

That reflex action...

I am hunting for my words...

my poetic muse...
I am hunting
For my little children
My children called words...